Feeling better about failure

So I've now started three paintings (notice the absence of photos) and realised they were failures.  Failures in the way that they were not conveying what I wanted to say.  It's annoying and slightly frustrating.  I see the picture in my head and when the old hand goes to form it a gap appears.  For some reason the eye in the head doesn't match the eye in the hand.  Sigh.  Practise will help but it's truly frustrating.

One of the reasons I didn't do art for a long time was that I was afraid of being talented enough to paint but not talented enough to be good.  And good means (in this case) having that ability to translate the eye in the head to the board or canvas to the eye that lives in the hand.  I took art in high school and the teacher instructing it only encouraged her favorites.  If you weren't in her in crowd you were just out of luck. 
I got into college (San Antonio College) and got a cross section of mixed reviews.  Some good, some bad.  Mostly people (Frank Hein, my painting instructor, repeatedly) who told me my art was cartoonish and not very well executed.  (looking back the comments now makes me go "Well, duh! That's why I'm school." )  Back then it meant failure and I left doing art behind. 

When I moved to Austin I decided when I went to school I was taking art courses only because I was approaching 45 and thought myself "too old" for a career.  I decided to take art history because I liked it.  Love history - love art so why not.  One of the first instructors I got was a woman by the name of Sylvia Orozco who encouraged me to switch to studio art.  She said I had talent.  A little later my watercolor  instructor (William Kolbe)  said something (nicely but true)  "It doesn't matter how much talent you have -you have to have the discipline to use it. "  Tactful but his message was true and he was kindly telling me I had to kick it in gear. 

I listen alot to people talk about me and art.  They all are correct and they all have valuable advice. They are also wrong sometimes but worth listening to even if only to disagree with. 

1. I have talent.
2. You have to have discipline as well as talent or your talent doesn't mean anything.
3. Practise all the time - draw, draw, draw.
4. You should have a good time when you do art.
and my newest piece of advice from my current art instructor
5. Out of 10 paintings you do, at least one of them will be really good so it's important to keep going past the 9 that aren't so good.

and one of mine (I just thought of it).

6. Gesso erases all mistakes on canvas.

It's okay to have failures.... you learn something from every one of them and that's what is really important.

I start my first ETSY!

So I decided because of the whole unemployment thing to try and sell handmade things I make.  Eventually I will list altered art but currently it's jewelry and loose beads. I have a ton of loose beads from my Celebration! days which I say I'm gonna use but I haven't.  If I use all the beads I own everyone in Austing would have a necklace.  So far I've made 4 sales- all from beads, not any from earrings. I decided since I rarely wear jewelry to let some of my vintage stuff go as well so I'm slowly posting that.  Here's the link.

Minerax's Shop on ETSY

I'm planning altered art to go on.  Still I'm happy to stay busy.

grass abstract

Periodically I take my cheap little digital and take photos.  I am not a serious photographer but I see things that I like or appeal to some little part of me.  Often, it mood or color.  While I was still working at the University I snapped a photo of some ornamental grass only to discover that I had totally not focused it and the wind was blowing too fast to take a good picture.  So the other day I was looking through some old files and found it.  It struck me as movement and light and while you cant tell it's grass was beautiful in it's own way.  I really loved the photo which really looks magical to me. 

So I tried to paint something based on it - not identical but from it.  Translating the piece.  Here is painting one.  I'm going to try it in watercolor next time I pull them out.  I'm still working in the acrylic stuff.

I made the painting more horizontal but may try a vertical look next time.  I'm enjoying the work out.  It's been so long since I've done artwork I feel pretty good with it.  I still see potential in the photgraph. 

Yard art or how to do something when you are laid off

So whilst unemployed (due to job lay-off) I have started doing art again basically to balance the horrible pressure one gets from the Unemployment Office to find a job.  Plus I do worry I will run out of money and the self-employed sweetie just doesn't pull in enough. 

That being said, I've been organizing and looking for things to do and clean and all, I stumbled across a largish box of bottle caps I had been saving for a friend who never managed to come get them.  Being bored, I poked holes in them and strung them up for the yard,  In a weird way, I kinda like the finished art project.  Sorta recycled yard art effect.

It does add a little color in the side yard where we don't water due to the fact we're in a heatwave/drought for most of the year.  Almost a solid two months worth of 100 degree weather makes for dead weeds and such.  So the bottlecap branch adds some color and a little variety.  I think I will eventually add more - we aren't big soda drinkers but we do slowly amass a few.  Sorry don't take donations!

Finally!

After a very long time period, I have started painting again.  It's not great but it's painting.  What with the lay-off I finally have a space of time to get going so while it's been slow, I have started doing things.  It's a small acrylic waterlily - I usually do watercolor but I have all these paints so I started in.

It's coming slowly.  The first phot is me laying in the background.  Generally I always don't put in the background and have huge amounts of white space.  White space can be a tad intiminidating so it's best to cover it quick.  Since it's a limited palette it was fairly easy.

I generally turn the painting upside down at some point to get a different perspective.  I started doing that when I started focussing on one area of a painting.

Once I got the background blocked in I started in on the actual flower.  I was hoping to keep it infused with light but started having some problems..  Acrylic isn't like watercolor in saeveral ways,  For one thing, you generally let the watercolor paper shine through for your whites and with acrylic some of the colors are more opague than other.  So I am having to try to stay light on this.  So I'm getting there somewhat soon.

Wednesday I added a new photo with more work done on Monday.  I gave it a rest on Tuesday and worked on job applications.  (I'm so stupid sounding, it's pretty sad.  I do worse on the actual verbal interview.  I just wanna say - "Hire me!  I can do your work!"

OMG I'm such a slacker

I haven't updated the art side of my blog in like forever.

Starting forward on new projects.

I'm fairly excited. Two things happened. First, I got an invitation to enter a competition and second, my printmaking friend asked if I'd help make some aprons for next years Steamroller Pres Get together. I am going forward with joining a couple of art organizations. Some movement forward in the arts area after a long dry summer.